Leaning into trust
I've been leaning into trust lately, a lot, a whole lot. Allowing myself to feel vulnerable, open, connecting on a level that I used to rarely experience. And it feels good, really, really good. Intuition is a funny thing. It can feel like a safety net or an open wound. As kids we trust our intuition. We cry when something does not feel right, whether it is a tag in a shirt or a stranger coming too close to comment on our curly locks. I did it as a kid, and my kids do it now. Like our little girl just the other day stopping before a gate that was open, intuitively knowing it was going to come down and close. I called to her to follow mama through the gate, but she just stood there, with her arms crossed... waiting. Sure enough, a few minutes later, the gate closed and then she just walked around it. Had she come when I called her it could have come down on her. Our kids know, they are innocent enough still to feel it, to sense things at a different frequency than most adults. And, along the way, either because we get caught up in the day to day and numbed by the system, or life as it is thrown at you can sometimes cause you to stuff your intuition or question it. And, especially as mamas, we tend to always want to give to others so much that we lose that intuitive feeling of when something is not right for us individually.
Lately, I have found a sense of safety that I am not sure I have ever felt. Connecting with other mamas and families that create a space for trust. Feeling vulnerable and sharing old wounds with friends you just met two months ago has done something to my intuition. It has allowed me to trust myself. I have been on this path of open consciousness for awhile now, with my husband, with our family. But now, we have seemed to create a community of like souls doing the same. When you feel safe to be who you are fully, you open up in ways that you never have. In the past two months I have belly danced around a fire, done yoga on the beach in my bikini, learned to make tamales, released childhood secrets, cried so hard I popped a blood vessel, laughed so loud I smiled for the whole day, and hugged so hard it filled my heart. I have also watched my husband grow in confidence in starting his own business, allow for play in the middle of a 'work' day, do yoga with other mamas and papas, play guitar in front of others, and lead a drum circle with tribal chants. This is who we are and who we have always been, it just took us awhile to fully feel alive in our own skins. And, our kids are flourishing, too. They are growing and running and playing and learning, and feeling safe in the comfort of friends turned family. A village on the road co-created by families seeking more connection and yet living with a whole lot less stuff. The way it used to be, villages sharing meals and skills and working together so that the burden was not on each family individually. It is a whole lot easier to compost and recycle and cook meals and do laundry and watch kids when you have several people pitching in to help. It also allows for more time to play and laugh and connect and just be. There is less about the daily grind when you are supported by others in community. And so, we have found that we can do more than just make it from paycheck to paycheck and from day to day... we can do more than just survive, we can actually thrive!
I am so thankful for being surrounded by community. I am so thankful for friends that have become family. I am so thankful for a neighborhood on wheels for my kids. And, I am so thankful for a tribe of mamas and papas that make it safe for us all to become who we have always been. And, oh my, the fun we have had! We have danced circles around a fire, had nights out on the town, shared meals and long conversations, danced barefoot in the dirt with fancy dresses on, and had late night walks on the beach. Together with our kids we have learned about shells and creatures at the ocean, foraged for firewood, practiced archery, played football on the beach, learned how to spin wool and knit, and we biked and hiked through the forest. Our little girl even learned how to swim on her own during this time. And, sharing meals several times a week has been so nurturing. One evening the kids prepared dinner from start to finish complete with menus and place settings and chefs and waiters, it was so awesome! This life learning, roadschooling, unschooling thing, whatever it is called, is just beautiful!
And, to think we had intended to already be heading out west by now! But, leaning into trust, and following our intuition, we were guided instead to continue connecting to those that fueled our hearts. Because if you are strong internally, your external work and passions become stronger. People often ask us how we do it on the road, how we sustain ourselves, how we support our family financially, how we keep from going crazy in a small space. Well, I tell them when you are open to the possibilities, more doors open for you. And, the past two months have been such a testament to that. We chose to be open to changing course, literally, hanging out in Florida way longer than we anticipated so that we could continue to connect with other on the road families. We are enjoying so much time outside that our small space feels just right when we do come in for downtime. And, when the hubby's 9-5 corporate job at Citrix offered a mutual separation, his desire to quit and pursue running his own business became exciting and he was secure enough in jumping because he leaned into that trust. Now, we can also focus on expanding Eco Womb to help sustain our family, creating our life's passions and purpose into our life's work. We have had a lot of adjustments in the Eco Womb family and business in the last two months, and we feel so grateful that our being open and trusting the flow has led us to where we are right now. We couldn't be happier! And, even allowing some quiet time here on the blog and on FB and Twitter, I have allowed myself to reflect and trust and prepare for the beautiful things to come!
We have actually been very busy here at Eco Womb, dreaming up big plans, working on expanding our educational and community outreach programs, reaching out to get others involved, and planning to launch a big 2012 Tour very, very soon!!! Even writing all of this out I am leaning into trust and knowing that the doors will open as long as we remain open and stand with open arms to the conscious awakening that is transforming our world right now. We feel it and can't wait to see it unfold!