wind whipping
winter coming
pit in my stomach
thinking of warmth
and fuel and food

times gone by
when that is all you prepared for
worked all summer 
harvest in fall
prepping for the cold

now preppers are preparing
for an economic collapse
and here i sit wondering
if it hasn't already happened

working so hard to make it
making do with what we have
yet, hard pressed to get work
and have those who owe pay up

we give and give and give
and are open to receive
thankful for all that we have been given
yet, with the wind whipping
and winter coming

there is a pit in my stomach
i can make something out of nothing
always have, i got this
but, the struggle
is it truly just perspective

when you are down to nothing
is it really so much more
i want to believe it is
and sometimes do
yet, sometimes that pit
resurfaces and cringes

when my child asks for meat for his sandwich
or to visit the wolf preserve that costs too much
i resurface and cringe
my inner child that knows that feeling of less

it is perspective
we have a little bit of jelly left
for that sandwich
it will have to make do
and those wolves can wait
there is a mountain to hike right from our front door
can't get much better than that 

but, how do you thrive
when you feel like you are barely just surviving
to wholly perceive that your loss is not
but rather a gain in strength
i have come up against this before
what won't bring me down
will only make me stronger

sometimes, though, i just want to scream
dammit i am strong enough
enough is enough
i am tired of being torn down
not valued, struggling, sad

maybe the collapse, however
is within, and collectively
when we all fall, we will all rise
i am ready for sure

i have struggled
i know what it means
to have peace
it is within
and isn't that all that matters

so with a little bit of jelly
and a whole lot of love
we will make it
warm inside with the wind whipping
and winter coming
we nest and reset

it's all any of us can ever do
breathe, and breathe again
and build a fire for warmth
and light a candle for light
and wait out the cold of winter

for there will always be spring
the light will return
the warmth will resurface
new growth and opportunities will abound
just as new roots take hold

so i get rooted and wait
and contemplate and meditate
allow the light to come in
allow the light within to be released
my gift of giving is still needed
there are others who have no light at all
or warmth, or love

and so with love, the roots can take hold
and so with love, the light can filter through
shining on all beings at once
and everyone will feel warm
provided for and sustained
all of us together as one
now that's perspective
i can get behind

so go ahead, winter winds, whip
i got this
all of us together, we got this
we will prevail
love will prevail
love is enough
and as we prepare for change
we prep for new beginnings
we perceive new ways

that is light and warmth
that is fire and breath
that is winter and spring
to survive and thrive
it's all perspective

Angela MalsonComment